Shut me down

I’m sorry that I was not involve in the recent trip planning at all..
It’s indeed the last place I wanna go on earth right now
I said yes, as there’s not much options
but now I think I have underestimated how I could deal with my feeling
When I received the metro map from the group
I couldn’t even spare a second to stare at it and actually plan something
Oh gosh it was just a map only
A Freakin’ Bloody Map ONLY
What the hell is wrong with me

I dun wanna read ANY words that could remind me of you
I dun wanna see ANYTHING that could remind me of you
I dun wanna think about you at all

I know it’s not healthy but I really dunno how to fix this shitty me

I know your life is great without me
My life has been better after you’ve left too
But my heart is still sighing sometimes

Living a really good life, with a broken heart
I dunno how I do that but I do, I really do

What the hell am I doing now

Can anyone tell me how to shut it down?
Can I have a humanity switch too?
So I could just simply turn it off?
I wanna to be absolutely carefree
And when I’m able to do that, there is nothing in this world can hurt me anymore

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