He’s just not that into you

又被問到以前的感情。

每次被問起,我都會有同樣一堆疑惑
為什麼他又消失了?
為什麼他們又一起了?
為什麼他不打給我了?
為什麼他不告訴我他在地球哪個角落?
為什麼他可以在情人節把我一個人落下了..?
為什麼他不跟我在一起?
為什麼他不..

為什麼你還可以對著我談笑風生?

想了一會,一個答案就能總結以上
“He’s just not that into you.”

20 feet from stardom

好久沒有一套片能讓我哭這麼慘了..
It hits me too hard
And when it related to music, it makes every feeling the strongest you should feel

“We in the music industry especially African American people, we need to know our worth;
we need to know, as women, we’re important.
I think the breakdown is, when a woman doesn’t know what she is and she settle for less.
Check out your worth because you’re worth more than that.”

“It’s not about fairness, it’s not really about talent, it’s circumstance,
it’s luck, it’s destiny, I don’t know what it is, but the best people… deal with it.”

— said by Sting, a man with boundless success, speaks beautifully and sadly on slights likes these..

And the song which hit me to the peak, “desperation”, by Judith Hill,
who was supposed to sing with Michael Jackson and then he just gone before his concerts

***

Maybe you’re where you’re supposed to be
Safely kept between the crowd
But you are looking for a reason to break free
Seems like you wanna scream but your voice is never too loud

(bridge)
You gotta let it out
Burst the roof and tear down the walls
It’s what its all about
It’s you life it’s your life it’s your life it’s your life

(chorus)
we all need we all need we all need we all need a little desperation
Can I have can I have can ihave can I have a little desperation
Do you want do you want do you want do you want a little desperation
Everyone everyone everyone everyone really needs a little desperation

(bridge)
Maybe it cost you everything
But you’re looking all around and the only one left is you
Now the clock is in full swing At the finish line you can’t say you never knew

Gotta let it out
So much worse if you don’t try now
You gotta let it show
Take a chance take a chance

(chorus)
We all need we all need we all need we all need a little desperation
Can I have can I have can I have can I have a little desperation
Do you want do you want do you want a little desperation
Cos everyone really needs really needs really needs

So hey love don’t you ever give up
Go just a little harder just a little harder
We are going to make it through the stormy weather
One day it’s going to get better So hey love don’t you ever give up
Go just a little harder

愛的鼓勵

像我這麼自卑的一個人,
有時候就需要把自己放開去讓人鼓勵一下
提醒我,我其實沒那麼差
居然還流下眼淚來
讓我回想起好多年前考五級聲樂前的一晚
Gallant 打電話來鼓勵我,然後我握著電話哭到泣不成聲

以下是我收的鼓勵,讓我充滿力量
我愛你們. Always and forever.

***

Hi my princess…how are you ? Remember that “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal”. We are all for you in whatever you do and decide so just be yourself, make decisions and keep moving forward one step at a time. I am sure in the blink of an eye everything will turn out well and positive….your mom and family loves you, uncle Louis loves you and the world around you loves you…so keep smiling and stay well. DREAM BIG my Princess!

From uncle Louis

***

All good sweetheart and yes I have every confident in you and will always run beside you all the way to the finishing line ok? Be happy n keep well always. Ciao princess!

From uncle Louis

***

你俾出你嘅200%!做返平時健談、正面嘅陳可然!再加個平常心令自己唔緊張、有信心,就okay架喇!
好,快啲爭取時間瞓多陣,精神奕奕咁去in啦!!!加油!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From Sally

***

Stef,你實得嫁,你既實力加埋我岩岩過俾你既運氣(拿我係大事上係好有運的>v<)
而且尋日我已經feel到你身上散發出成功人士既氣場拉!!
十項全能,講野有point, 大方得體有氣質又靚女的係呢個社會好少見拉!
讀到既野可以慢慢補讀番,但好多特質係好難有嫁!相信自己一定得~
我interview前一個鐘度就唔會讀拉,會對住塊鏡講十次i love u~ 充滿自信行出去係唔同啲~

From Tina

***

Stef, 你要相信你自己啊。你的經驗和溝通技巧都係你的優勢!!唔係讀hr 出身呢d佢地一早就知,俾你second in 你就應該要展現你的優勢,唔好想一d你控製唔到的。。我係真心覺得你好叻架Stefanie.
正如昨晚說的,你已無咩可輸了,盡全力搏到盡令自己無悔便行了:)
Take a good rest then 精精神神自信d 甘去in la !!! good luck and add oil
rmb to ask the normal u to 上你身bor 😊

From jojo

***

I would give u my power

From Thomas

***

I am sure you will do fine na!
all you need is a little bit of faith

From wataru oppa

***

And.. More encouragement from

– my beloved gf and angel, for the whole interview details and arrangement

– Mel, for your HR guideline

– Gordon, for the tricky questions you have suggested

– Oppa, for having me drinking alone at your restaurant on my saddest day of all

– my family, for all your support, and keep challenging me and role playing with me

I am ready to go now.

IMG_2453.JPG

最佳位置

「我不想有多一個 “我” 傷害你
所以不如就讓我保護你」

「你知道我有多珍惜你
我發誓我永遠都不會再傷害你」

「你在我心目中永遠處在一個好重要的位置」

這些剖白聽著既浪漫又傷感
我在心裡真的好大聲的 “唉” 了出來..

對,我在你們每. 個. 人. 心目中都在一個好重要好珍惜的位置
只是沒有一個人會跟我在一起

“到底我做錯了甚麼?” 即使是隔著電話,我也快要崩潰了。這些問題,沒喝酒我問不出來。

“地球上某一個角落的男仔都在問著自己這個問題,早晚你們會遇到”
我們是甚麼樣的關係,還在敷衍我 -.-

接著一大堆讚我的話,我沒有你說的這般好,但還是越聽越難過

我好,我好好好好好好,只是沒有人要
「最佳位置」,大概就是垃圾桶

原諒我昨晚也把話說得有點狠
我太沮喪了
其實當時離開你,本來也不打算要把原因講得太清楚,免得你難堪
我老早原諒了你,你當讓我借酒發一下哞騷好了

情愛是決定遺下我

突然覺得,也許 <勇> 就是我的愛情主題曲

我沒有很温柔,有時候會硬棚棚,也會發脾氣
其實我就只對著親的人臭臉
礙著面子,口講不出太嬌嗲的話 (我真的變不了聲…)

但是
誰說你壞話,我都會一句擋回去,永遠站在你那邊
我不會呷醋,因為我相信你
發生甚麼事都會自己先扛下來,到搞不成才會出聲求助,怕會麻煩到你
我可以為你捱窮捱餓,也可以為你打天下打江山
我可以去考聲樂、打 battlefield
我可以去砌高達、學拍照,走上飛機自己一個離開香港
你要甚麼,只要你開口我都可以把它變出來

你知道,無論你要甚麼我都會給你
你知道我甚麼都肯為你做

有一次,有一個你問我要不要陪跳 “笨豬跳”
然後我竟然認真考慮了整整一個月,還每個晚上發著跳下去的惡夢
嚇醒的一剎,我知道,我是徹底敗給愛情了

 

***

我也不是大無畏 我也不是不怕死
但是在浪漫熱吻之前 如何險要
懸崖絕領 為你亦當是平地

愛你不用合情理 但願用直覺本能去抓住你
一想到心儀的你 從來沒有的力氣
突然注入漸軟的雙臂

旁人從不贊同 而情理也不容
仍全情投入 傷都不覺痛
如窮追一個夢 誰人如何激進
亦不及我為你那麼勇

沿途紅燈再紅 無人可擋我路
望著是萬馬 千軍都直衝
我沒有溫柔 唯獨有這點英勇

我也希望被憐愛 但自願扮作英雄去保護你
勳章你不留給我 仍然願意撐下去
傲然笑著為你擋兵器

跌下來再上去 就像是不倒翁
明明已是撲空 再盡全力補中

再沒有支援 還是有這點英勇
渴望愛的人 全部愛得很英勇

 

***

 

是不是太英勇,所以我就一直沒人疼..?